Aug 17th 6:44 am, my dads wife calls to tell me that the man who bears the same name took his own life. Confusion begins its journey through my thoughts. It’s now Aug 18th 10:12 pm. Reminders of life’s past shattered pieces begin to take it’s toll. Many share their sympathy on the internet, a dozen leave messages, a few call. Yet I’m not sure I want to talk. I pretend I’m doing well. But loneliness, something I’m not a stranger to, is beginning to haunt me. I have to stay off of Facebook where it seems to show only the American Dreams that allows everyone to hide their realities. All I can do is rest. Where does my hope come from? It comes from you Lord. Thank God for those who say they are there to talk if I need an those who try calling. But what do I say? What would you say? I’m overwhelmed. Is it going to be the same thing I’ve heard already? What do you say? Nothing. I’m content just to have someone near me. Thankfully I still put my hope and trust in God and not man. If I was to rely on man I would have already been deeply discourage. There are those I looked up to that never bothered to call once. But blessed to my family and friends and few strangers who have reached out. I ask God to bless you in return.
I share this because I’m a bit like my dad. He kept to himself a lot. Though I like my quiet place, I always wish to be sharing the same space. My heart is complexed. My thoughts confused. I’m doing my best to allow love to win over any anger, bitterness and anything that will lead me into depression. Worry is trying to strip me. Surprised that the funeral cost was never fully covered. Facing a fathers own suicide is enough. But now to add onto the battle we need over $4,000 in just a matter of days? Is there mercy to be found? The strength in me has given up. I’m resting only on what the Lord supplies.
What will be the ending result of all this after the chaos goes by? Through this. I watch people continue to live their normal daily lives as if nothing happened. What gives? I’d like to continue like they do. But nothing is the same anymore. The man who bears the same name is dead. A piece of me feels as if it’s been forfeited from this world. I just want to run. Far away from here. No wife, no children, why not. Maybe I should just continue on my spontaneous journey as always. Maybe this will be the breaking point. But for now I need to rest with this shattered heart…
“2 Late one afternoon, after his midday rest, David got out of bed and was walking on the roof of the palace. As he looked out over the city, he noticed a woman of unusual beauty taking a bath. 3 He sent someone to find out who she was, and he was told, “She is Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam and the wife of Uriah the Hittite.” 4 Then David sent messengers to get her; and when she came to the palace, he slept with her.” (2 Samuel 11:2-4a NLT).
When something surprising and unusual happens it may try to take our curious minds captive before we take our thoughts captive first. A lot of people give in to such desires out of stress and as an escape from reality. Daniel’s character changed dramatically as lust aroused his heart and to selfishly have what’s not his. Unfortunately due to his position of power it wasn’t hard to reach out to Bathsheba and the consequences not only damaged who he was as a man, but the lives and marriage of Bathsheba and her husband who was one of Daniels soldiers. You may know the rest, Daniel eventually put Uriah out in the front lines so he would be killed off in hopes to save him from embarrassment and confessing what he had done with his wife.
It doesn’t matter if your a man or woman, our minds have triggers that we need to learn to control. I’ve had a number of people of all ages of both genders confess they have been dealing with issues that they are ashamed of. It’s not easy confessing sins and recognizing that your susceptible to such sins like Daniel was. In just a matter of seconds, a thought can change your entire atmosphere, from either being shamefully disgusted or stronger that you won another battle waged against your mind.
Battle of The Mind
First and foremost it’s important for each Christian to know what they are up against in this world by contributing their time to reading the scriptures. It baffles me how many Christians still don’t understand why they fall into sin. However, many are not committed to reading the text of God’s Word that has been given to us to combat the daily struggles, whether it being of the mind, dealing with others, making decisions, witnessing and you get the point. I challenge everyone I have these conversations with to learn more of the scriptures God has already given us. Relying on your pastor once or twice a week, your close friend or family member and/or this blog once in your life just doesn’t cut it. As much as our curious minds are receptively being tempted to give in, we need to repeatedly combat these battles with the Word of God.
1 Renewing of The Mind
And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God. (Romans 12:2 NKJV).
Paul, who is a major contributor to the New Testament knows what he’s talking about and speaks a lot from personal experiences. He used to persecute Christians. He knows what it means to be on the other side and fighting not just against evil thoughts but fighting along with evil thoughts against God. But his mind has been renewed. He sought to see Christians to be killed but God got his attention. However, Daniel being a servant of God had let his guard down. Even after accepting Christ theres going to be more of a war waged against us because we are children of God. Daniel and Paul are two great examples of Godly men who dealt with this battle.
“17 This I say, therefore, and testify in the Lord, that you should no longer walk as [f]the rest of the Gentiles walk, in the futility of their mind, 18 having their understanding darkened, being alienated from the life of God, because of the ignorance that is in them, because of the blindness of their heart;” (Ephesians 4:17-19 NKJV).
Renewing of the mind involves an complete change in our thinking, reacting and how we view things. We know that God is love, Jesus taught love, so by viewing life out of love that God has in mind for everyone will lead you to make better choices.
2. Spirit vs. Flesh
“40 Then He came to the disciples and found them sleeping, and said to Peter, “What! Could you not watch with Me one hour? 41 Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.” (Matthew 26:40-41 NKJV).
The night Jesus was handed over to be crucified he kept asking His disciples to pray. They were tired and instead of keeping watch they fell asleep. Jesus referred to it as temptation of the flesh, wanting what is pleasing, in this case sleep. Daniel struggled in his flesh, he gave into the temptation of pleasure what our bodies naturally crave. It is in this understanding why it may seem we may give in so easily, and why the battle to do what’s right is not as easy as we’d thought it might be.
Paul allowed himself to became vulnerable to us by admitting his troubles, he shares this because he knew what it must feel like for many others to think your alone facing these battles. Thank God for Paul and being real with us so we understand, that even as a leader he has spiritual battles to face.
“15 For what I am doing, I do not understand. For what I will to do, that I do not practice; but what I hate, that I do. 16 If, then, I do what I will not to do, I agree with the law that it is good. 17 But now, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me. 18 For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh) nothing good dwells; for to will is present with me, but how to perform what is good I do not find. 19 For the good that I will to do, I do not do; but the evil I will not to do, that I practice. 20 Now if I do what I will not to do, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me.” (Romans 7:15-20 NKJV).
Daniel struggled, Jesus warns us of the struggle and Paul admitted his struggle. We can take into consideration for these struggles not to come as a surprise. However, this doesn’t give an excuse or reason to keep giving in. As Christians we are no longer slaves to sin but to righteousness, but if we keep giving into the foothold of sin then we give power to Satans presence in our life, where if we keep giving into the spirit we give God power to work through us.
“For those who live according to the flesh set their minds of the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit.” (Romans 8:5 NKJV)
3. Restoration after Sin
There are sins we will have to deal with as long as we live here on earth. However, if not careful, sins can become habitual and become hard to get out of when it grows a root into our daily lives. This often happens out of ignorance and just assuming God’s going to continue to forgive us. This is a sinful habit that one obviously keeps covered up as if it never happened. But if you’re like me, you know and believe God keeps His promises, not just the promises that we get to benefit from, but promises of what will happen if we don’t respond appropriately and turn from our sins.
“He who covers his sins will not prosper; But whoever confesses and forsakes them will have mercy. Happy is the man who is always reverent, But he who hardens his heart will fall into calamity.” (Proverbs 28:13-14 NKJV)
Its a lonely road enduring a daily life of being ashamed of a habitual sin. Again Jesus made it clear that the flesh is weak compared to the spirit. However as said in Philippians 4:13 we as Christians can not only do all things through Him but also overcome such battles in our life because of the strength He gives us. We are without excuse for not turning away from sin. There are things where we will do all that we can to make it work. We commit our time in order to pass a test, in order to get fit, to perform at a job or make our daily relationships work. In hindsight, this needs to be our same focus and attitude when it comes to allowing our minds to be renewed and deepening our relationship with Christ.
Jesus promises to forgive us if we turn from our sins. Doing so allows restoration to take place, it allows guilt and shame to be replaced by His love and joy to be made full.
“These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may remain in you, and that your joy may be full.” (John 15:11 NKJV.)
Imagine what the world would be like if Jesus made an excuse not to be crucified for our sins because it would hurt to much. We often make all the excuses we can to justify our reason, and maybe this justification is a sign and proof that ones judgment is already blinded of their sin. Jesus did what was necessary for our greater good because in Heaven, the grass is actually greener on the other side. We are called into obedience.
“Jesus answered and said to him, ‘If anyone loves me, he will keep My Word; and My Father will love him, and We will come to him and make Our home with him.” (John 14:23 NKJV)
Are you dealing with a spiritual battle? If so what?
2. Do you recognize where your thoughts need to change? What triggers your mind responds to that needs to be dealt with?
3. Do need restoration? If so, state what area/s in your life need to be restored, confess your sins to God and ask for forgiveness admitting you’ll turn away from your sins.
4. Understand that God isn’t surprised by the battles we face of Spirit vs flesh. It is His desire that we experience complete joy in our lives.
It’s not easy admitting to sins that have haunted us and weighed us down. But it’s not a road we want to travel just because we don’t want anyone to find out. It’s best to expose to God and deal with it versus living a sinful life that leads to destruction. A life of such sin can lead one down a dark and lonely road which grows a root of other sins. It’s best we take our thoughts captive, especially together as iron sharpens iron.
I encourage you to seek someone to pray with you, to seek help. You may feel like there is no one around you to trust. I understand it, and I’ve been there. Fortunately there are people you can simply talk to on a site I recommend. They are simple volunteers, living their lives as much as you and I doing our best to do what’s right and make it through another day. Jesuscares.com is a site where you’ll find people who loves Jesus and are willing to spend time with you, to listen, to pray, to study with and whatever the occasion or circumstance may be. You don’t need an account or pay for anything. If you can’t find anyone give the volunteers with Jesuscares.com a try.
“3 For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh. 4 For the weapons of our warfare are not [a]carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, 5 casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ, 6 and being ready to punish all disobedience when your obedience is fulfilled.” (2 Corinthians 10:3-6 NKJV)
I recently read a post on facebook stating “It’s hard to get in shape spiritually if you only work out on Sunday.” A very true message and even more true to those not belonging to a body of other believers where iron sharpens iron. Many people will agree that the Bible says things will become worse, but have you ever stopped to ponder how today is brining that prophecy to be fulfilled? Are you apart of that movement to the fulfillment?
Each year that goes by I’m witnessing how much more the world and fellow Christians are turning to myths and further from the truth. I’m not one to just share my opinion, let my words be few and let the Word of God speak the truth into the souls of man as I continue to carry and share the truth. It says God’s word is sharper that a double edge sword. But how will one know the truth unless they are seeking and digging deeper into the truth. Some I believe read the Word of God but somehow manage to come out with some mystical and scriptural twisted view to fulfill what they want to believe is true and disregard what the text is actually saying, and in turn destroy themselves of their own false claims.
2 Peter says it better than I do. “And so, dear friends, while you are waiting for these things to happen, make every effort to be found living peaceful lives that are pure and blameless in his sight. And remember, our Lord’s patience gives people time to be saved. This is what our beloved brother Paul also wrote to you with the wisdom God gave him–speaking of these things in all of his letters. Some of his comments are hard to understand, and those who are ignorant and unstable have twisted his letters to mean something quite different, just as they do with other parts of Scripture. And this will result in their destruction.” (3:14-18 NLT)
I have copies of several Bible’s: KJV, NKJV, NIV, NLT and the one that helps the most to combat twisted scripture references is the Apologetics Bible which is the Holman Version. It has side notations of certain scriptures that are commonly taken out of context by individual and or groups or other religions. If you don’t know, the KJV is the oldest translation that we have available to us in our language dating back over 400 years now. I have been making it a habit to fact check if you will, other bible versions with the KJV for accuracy. This is part of my getting fit spiritually and putting on the armor of God. The other exeresises are communicating with God (praying), journaling and acting out in my faith, by first and foremost learning how to love and serve others as Christ has done unto us.
I can listen to other pastors and leaders speak on scripture, but there are those who don’t know the difference if anything is being taken out of context because they fully rely on their leaders, pastors or priest. Carlson Pearson, an Oklahoma pastor claims that God told Him that nobody needs to be saved because they already are. There’s a featured movie about him on netflix called Come Sunday. If you read scripture and understand it, you wouldn’t be able to confirm what he says is true, although he lost his church and most of his congregation, he still has a congregation.
Lets face it, we live in a culture where self pleasure is on the rise. Technology and knowledge as stated in Daniel 4 will increase as people go to and fro, given the world and bigger library to fill our heads with false claims.
“For a time is coming when people will no longer listen to sound and wholesome teaching. They will follow their own desires and will look for teachers who will tell them whatever their itching ears want to hear. They will reject the truth and chase after myths.” 2 Timothy 4:3-4
This scripture hit me like a brick when I was 14 and has been my life verse every since. You’ll see how scripture is being fulfilled if you do your research and observe the people of today. For example, I have come across, I believe his name is Steven Crowder, that has a youtube show called Louder with Crowder. He is a conservative libertarian who goes around to public places such as universities, with their permission and has open conversations about a specific topic. His usual set up has a banner with a statement he believes is a myth with the words Change My Mind underneath it. Whoever would like to have a one on one civil conversation to try and change his mind is welcome to sit and talk as everyone around listens. One of the topics was Stating “There are only 2 Genders – Change My Mind.” A LBGQT and whatever letters I’m missing, leader sat down with Crowder. Her basic argument for why there are more genders is the result of increased technology and knowledge. I’m not quoting word for word, but basically her argument involved chromosomes, have more of one over the other, despite the biological evidence of what physical characteristics were present, that somehow if an individual feels they want to live choose what nouns they are identified with that they have the right to do so and that everyone else should respect their wishes even even they don’t know how they want to be identified. Long story short, she never gave a number of how many genders there are and as the scripture says, she is one of many that have turned to myths.
I could continue on with how people believe in the flat earth theory, despite all the evidence and scripture that clearly states otherwise, I would like to simply challenge you to get your head in the game! Don’t rely on me, don’t rely on your leaders, pastors, priest and whoever may be an influence in your life, for as scripture says in Matthew 24:24 says that false messiahs and prophets will appear that will deceive many and possibly the elect. If you’re reading this and searching your own Bible to fact check what you’ve heard, congrats your one exercise closer to being more spiritually fit, but dont quit theres plenty more reps.
Refined as Pure Gold 